A capacity to deal with ambivalence. To hold together positive and negative feelings. It’s not redemptive or restorative in a straight forward way.
I think one of the things that transness and gender have given me is a greater appreciation of ambivalence. And potentially more of a confidence to sit with ambivalent feelings. I think these things are really strongly connected: trans identity and ambivalence. And what I mean by ambivalence is the complex network of feelings that are brought forward when you love something. Like ambivalence is a state of contradiction and complex entanglement.